Today is just a normal day for me. Except that I'm not sure why today I was so 'hardworking' and helped my mom to finish making dumplings for the upcoming dumpling festival. Also, the results of my second year second sem are released and sent to my house. I thought I'm ready to face my terrible result, but the truth is, I'm not. I'm still shock when I saw it. hahahah......
Since now it is holidays month, so my daily routine has turned up side down. Night becomes my day and day becomes my night. A night owl. And currently, I'm unable to sleep.
It's one year since I applied for the scholarship and I failed in this year January. I wonder how many people actually read my blog and get the tips from it? I think none. Since my blog is too 'secretive' due to some personal reasons.
Even thought half a year has passed, but the disappointment is definitely still there. Probably due to 'someone' has given me high hope. )(*#*@#^&^@#) HAHAHHA
Anyway, I have no other choices except to continue what I'm doing now. I pray to God that I can manage this challenge and if possible, I really hope I can love it. mmhhmmm......
Currently I'm happy because I do not have to think about the life during clinical posting.
But when new sem starts, can I cope with it? Answer is: me myself, I'm also not sure about it.
The 'hurtful' comments given by the supervisor has a big impact on me. I took around 2 months to let it go and now, I dont care about it anymore. I dont care what she said because I think that she has no right to say this to me since she is not me. So, I felt better. haha..Trying to hypnotize myself. Unsure whether this is a healthy way of thinking or not.
I do not know the path of my life. What will happen to me in the future. This goes to others as well. But my friends told me, once you have gone further, the path will become clearer. And you will know what you want or whether you're in the right track. If yes, congratulations. If not, then it is never too late to change to what you want to be as long as you have the determination. And I strongly believe this.
As we grow up, we have more things to consider. More stress, tension. To make ourselves happier, we just have to try to do something that we like. Example, playing sports, computer games, vacationing, dance in the club, eat, drink....
Never ever stress up yourself too much until you're unable to cope with it. Isnt it?
Keep our sanity.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Friday, April 9, 2010
Examination that never ends
Start from the Monday, my final exam for my 2nd year life will be started.
Surprisingly, this time I 'feel' that I do not care about it anymore. Even though I still study, but not as hardworking as before. Maybe I've opened up my mind that results will not decide anything for my future. So, as long as I pass, it should be ok.
Next sem will be a tougher year because there are 4 subjects that its credit hour is 4. Quite heavy for the students since we never have so many 4 credit hour at the same time. But this scene will continue until the final year where all the subjects are 5-credit-hour subjects.. '"=_=
Gambateh....!!
Surprisingly, this time I 'feel' that I do not care about it anymore. Even though I still study, but not as hardworking as before. Maybe I've opened up my mind that results will not decide anything for my future. So, as long as I pass, it should be ok.
Next sem will be a tougher year because there are 4 subjects that its credit hour is 4. Quite heavy for the students since we never have so many 4 credit hour at the same time. But this scene will continue until the final year where all the subjects are 5-credit-hour subjects.. '"=_=
Gambateh....!!
Friday, April 2, 2010
Finally posting is ended today
Today is the last day for my clinical posting. I was so happy because I do not need to go to the hospital setting anymore.
After 5 weeks of posting, my thought will be : Am I suitable to be a physiotherapist in the future. Currently, neither I like or hate this profession. I'm just neutral and I just think that this job is so tiring.
My second year will be ended very soon. Even though this week there was a carier talk in my campus. Representative from a hospital in Singapore came to my campus and try to recruit people. They are promoting their hospital and my course. But for me, the effect is reverse. I didn't feel that this is a very promising and secure job.
Even now that I am going to be a third year student soon in this coming July, I'm still thinking that: is it the right path for me?
Or I shouldn't think too much. I should just focus on what I'm doing now since I am unable to change the fact that I'm financially not able to change course to study in private colleges.
I just hope that I can be more brave.
After 5 weeks of posting, my thought will be : Am I suitable to be a physiotherapist in the future. Currently, neither I like or hate this profession. I'm just neutral and I just think that this job is so tiring.
My second year will be ended very soon. Even though this week there was a carier talk in my campus. Representative from a hospital in Singapore came to my campus and try to recruit people. They are promoting their hospital and my course. But for me, the effect is reverse. I didn't feel that this is a very promising and secure job.
Even now that I am going to be a third year student soon in this coming July, I'm still thinking that: is it the right path for me?
Or I shouldn't think too much. I should just focus on what I'm doing now since I am unable to change the fact that I'm financially not able to change course to study in private colleges.
I just hope that I can be more brave.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
I'll do my best in whatever that is in front of me now
This is currently that is in my mind. I'll finish my 4 years physiotherapy course if I have no opportunity to change course. However, will I practice it after I graduate? This is be a question mark.
For me, currently, what I'm thinking is this course is only an extra knowledge for me. Whether I want to be a physio in the future or not, it all depends on my 'happiness'. If I am happy working as a physio, so be it. I'll continue to be. On the contrary, if I'm not happy, then I will definitely change field. Happiness is the most important, isn't it? Otherwise I'll have to work in a field that I dislike so much, this will definitely affect my performace.
So, now, I'll do my best. The path in front of me, I'm not sure where it will lead me to. But, I'll do my best. This is a promise, and I hope I can keep it.
For me, currently, what I'm thinking is this course is only an extra knowledge for me. Whether I want to be a physio in the future or not, it all depends on my 'happiness'. If I am happy working as a physio, so be it. I'll continue to be. On the contrary, if I'm not happy, then I will definitely change field. Happiness is the most important, isn't it? Otherwise I'll have to work in a field that I dislike so much, this will definitely affect my performace.
So, now, I'll do my best. The path in front of me, I'm not sure where it will lead me to. But, I'll do my best. This is a promise, and I hope I can keep it.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
first practical exam today (OSPE)
Today is my first practical exam. There are 8 stations which tested on the students' skills on neurology, musculoskeletal, electrotherapy and cardiorespiratory.
Basically, what I can say is I have done badly. (I think)
Because many small small parts I missed out. For example, I didn't tell my 'patients' the functions and purposes of the tests that I wanted to do. I think this is due to my habit because since my clinical posting in PPUKM, I seldom/never tell my patients what are the purposes of the tests that I'm doing because I don't even have time to do my assessments. Sigh....wrong wrong habit. Must change it ASAP.
Next, there are something that I never heard before during the examination. i.e. alternating hip and knee flexion? What the hell is that? I only heard of alternating ankle movement (dorsi/plantarflexion), alternating hand supination and pronation but NOT hip and knee flexion.............???
Then, things taught to us during lecture are different from the expectation from the examiners. In practical sessions, we did exactly what the lecturer has taught us (ie, anterior lung surface marking until intercostal joint 6)but examiners said it is until joint 8. WHich one should we follow?
There are some examiners who are very kind and lenient and willing to give tips by asking you questions. But there are also some who only sat there without saying a single word.
The moral of the story: I should really improve my practical skills. I think my theory is ok but when it comes down to practical, sometimes, I do not know/sure how to do it. So, practise! Practise!
Another thing, I should really learn to read the questions properly. Because of the nervousness during exam, most of the students tend to be panicked and read the questions very very fast until they may misunderstand/overlook/miss out some important message in the questions. Such a simple thing, read. And I can't do it properly. How shame.....................''=_=""""""""
I hope I can really improve my practical skills. Practise!
Basically, what I can say is I have done badly. (I think)
Because many small small parts I missed out. For example, I didn't tell my 'patients' the functions and purposes of the tests that I wanted to do. I think this is due to my habit because since my clinical posting in PPUKM, I seldom/never tell my patients what are the purposes of the tests that I'm doing because I don't even have time to do my assessments. Sigh....wrong wrong habit. Must change it ASAP.
Next, there are something that I never heard before during the examination. i.e. alternating hip and knee flexion? What the hell is that? I only heard of alternating ankle movement (dorsi/plantarflexion), alternating hand supination and pronation but NOT hip and knee flexion.............???
Then, things taught to us during lecture are different from the expectation from the examiners. In practical sessions, we did exactly what the lecturer has taught us (ie, anterior lung surface marking until intercostal joint 6)but examiners said it is until joint 8. WHich one should we follow?
There are some examiners who are very kind and lenient and willing to give tips by asking you questions. But there are also some who only sat there without saying a single word.
The moral of the story: I should really improve my practical skills. I think my theory is ok but when it comes down to practical, sometimes, I do not know/sure how to do it. So, practise! Practise!
Another thing, I should really learn to read the questions properly. Because of the nervousness during exam, most of the students tend to be panicked and read the questions very very fast until they may misunderstand/overlook/miss out some important message in the questions. Such a simple thing, read. And I can't do it properly. How shame.....................''=_=""""""""
I hope I can really improve my practical skills. Practise!
Monday, March 8, 2010
I have chosen the wrong path?!
This week, second week of my clinical posting in PPUKM. What do I feel? What do others feel?
Working in hospital is not a funny and nice job at all I would say. Especially in patient cases, it is so depressing. Everyday you will be seeing those almost 'half-dead' patients that only awaiting for their time to return to God. How will you feel?
Outpatient is still ok. But until today what I see is "ar, pain....pain....stop...etc etc". The patients shouted pain because of prolonged immobilisation. People already feel so sad after their illness or bad luck, and the physio still 'hurting them'. How will they feel?
When I was in my first year of study, I have already thought of this. My dream job is the type of job that allows me to wear pretty clothes, high heels, sit in air-cond room, work with pen or computer and some says" can have more chances to see those handsome guy" (haha ^^). Not such hospital-based job which I need to wear the old-fashioned "formal clothing" which is not convenient to work at all (for a physiotherapist), seeing all the old, depressed and sick patients, a working environment that is full of germs and the risk of infection is very high etc etc.
But, I am satisfied when my patients are satisfied with me. At least they will not have the feeling of hatred when they see me.
So, what should I do? The feeling of "I have chosen the wrong course" comes to my mind not the first time and does not fade until now where I am a second year student which will be a 3rd year student in this July.
However, I have completed almost half of my course. If I quit now:
1) it's a waste (??)
2) what can I do? work? or study other courses? (business related)
I do not have the guts to quit. Because if I do, I have nothing. So, currently, my decision is to continue and finish my degree. And whether I'll work as a physiotherapist or not, it all depends. After I graduate, maybe my thought will be different isn't it?
Working in hospital is not a funny and nice job at all I would say. Especially in patient cases, it is so depressing. Everyday you will be seeing those almost 'half-dead' patients that only awaiting for their time to return to God. How will you feel?
Outpatient is still ok. But until today what I see is "ar, pain....pain....stop...etc etc". The patients shouted pain because of prolonged immobilisation. People already feel so sad after their illness or bad luck, and the physio still 'hurting them'. How will they feel?
When I was in my first year of study, I have already thought of this. My dream job is the type of job that allows me to wear pretty clothes, high heels, sit in air-cond room, work with pen or computer and some says" can have more chances to see those handsome guy" (haha ^^). Not such hospital-based job which I need to wear the old-fashioned "formal clothing" which is not convenient to work at all (for a physiotherapist), seeing all the old, depressed and sick patients, a working environment that is full of germs and the risk of infection is very high etc etc.
But, I am satisfied when my patients are satisfied with me. At least they will not have the feeling of hatred when they see me.
So, what should I do? The feeling of "I have chosen the wrong course" comes to my mind not the first time and does not fade until now where I am a second year student which will be a 3rd year student in this July.
However, I have completed almost half of my course. If I quit now:
1) it's a waste (??)
2) what can I do? work? or study other courses? (business related)
I do not have the guts to quit. Because if I do, I have nothing. So, currently, my decision is to continue and finish my degree. And whether I'll work as a physiotherapist or not, it all depends. After I graduate, maybe my thought will be different isn't it?
Saturday, March 6, 2010
first week of clinical posting in PPUKM
This week was the first time and the first week of my clinical posting in PPUKM. My first station was orthopaedics male ward. There are 5 stations in total. Neurology in patient, neuro outpatient, musculoskeletal out patient, cardiorespiratory in patient and musculoskeletal in patient.
The patient that worthwhile for me to mention is this case. He has frozen shoulder, bilateral OA knee, pyogenic discitis at L4-S1. Generally, his upper limbs and lower limbs muscle power are 2.
I'm lucky that I get this patient because he was very 'obedient' and comply to whatever I said. Even though he was in pain, he still hold on and did the exercise that I taught him. Salute You!
For 5 days I was with him. Until the last day, Friday, he told me :" tomorrow you must come again and help me in my exercise. I want to walk". Unfortunately, the 'tomorrow' then he meant was Saturday. I'm off on Saturday. And the next week I'll be in neurology outpatient.
Generally, I was happy because the patient likes me. (maybe I think too much ^^)
However, my bed head ticket (SOAP), I didn't do a good job. I did not do a good and detailed assessment. This causes me to miss out some important points that the patient faced. I did not go home and read for more assessment that I can do for him. Sorry ~0_0~
I still can recall. The first day when I went to the ward, I was so scared and nervous until I get butterfly tummy for 2 days consecutively. sigh...''=_=
I hope I can improve more in my skills. I must study and practice harder !!
The patient that worthwhile for me to mention is this case. He has frozen shoulder, bilateral OA knee, pyogenic discitis at L4-S1. Generally, his upper limbs and lower limbs muscle power are 2.
I'm lucky that I get this patient because he was very 'obedient' and comply to whatever I said. Even though he was in pain, he still hold on and did the exercise that I taught him. Salute You!
For 5 days I was with him. Until the last day, Friday, he told me :" tomorrow you must come again and help me in my exercise. I want to walk". Unfortunately, the 'tomorrow' then he meant was Saturday. I'm off on Saturday. And the next week I'll be in neurology outpatient.
Generally, I was happy because the patient likes me. (maybe I think too much ^^)
However, my bed head ticket (SOAP), I didn't do a good job. I did not do a good and detailed assessment. This causes me to miss out some important points that the patient faced. I did not go home and read for more assessment that I can do for him. Sorry ~0_0~
I still can recall. The first day when I went to the ward, I was so scared and nervous until I get butterfly tummy for 2 days consecutively. sigh...''=_=
I hope I can improve more in my skills. I must study and practice harder !!
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